Swan Songs

“You don’t have to worry
All your worried days are gone
This will be our year
Took a long time to come.”
– The Zombies

A new year and I’m reminded of how each one feels towards the end. Even the best of people make well intentions and declare proudly, “This is it – this is when I get my act together.” It’s like a swan song for all the regrets and negative emotions, that final announcement saying that at the start of the new year you will make those changes. The thing about swan songs is they are terminal. Death to the old me. We all sing that song hoping that the new year brings what we all crave; a fresh start. It’s a wonder then why so many of us find that life doesn’t exactly behave that way.

I find myself remembering a motivational speech where Tony Robbins said something like, “People overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in five years”. I’m cynical though. I think I’ve been inundated with wanting things in the here and now. With everything at your fingertips instantly and always, it’s difficult to see the forest for the trees. To realize the things that went wrong and how to fix them. To lose goals, ambitions and dreams you didn’t even know you had until you’ve lost them.

How to take that step on that long path ahead when you can’t see five feet in front of you.

So instead of singing that song and letting an old version of you die. Let’s talk about how you can make those steps on the path. To take what you are and move forward.

Let’s take the path step by step:

You will practice gratitude each day a minimum of twice. Be thankful for the people still in your life. For your dog licking you in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. When you stand up for someone who needs it. When you manage to hit all the green lights and get to work on time. When you meet that project deadline ahead of schedule. All gratitudes shall be written down and reviewed weekly.

You will practice your creativity more. You will write and paint and draw whenever the mood strikes you. None of these things need to see the light of day. They are for you alone.

You will exercise your mind daily. You’ll play Sudoku, puzzle and learn that new language. The Rosetta Stone lifetime membership won’t go to waste, not this time.

You will pivot when life sends hurdles your way. Maneuver around obstacles, people, feelings and negative thoughts however you can.

You will clean the apartment because if you don’t, you might suffocate from all the dog hair.

You will feel your emotions as they wash over you. You will pull those crates of memories and feelings you’ve thrown overboard and allow them to be felt. They won’t control you anymore.

You will set boundaries in your life and let them be known to others. You won’t be tolerant of anyone who breaks one after it has been set. You will be selfish in this regard.

You will practice physical improvement every day. Conditioning will be vital. Strength, essential. Nutrition is to heal and recover from this – not because of what you want to see in the mirror. Your body will take on its optimal form. Alcohol is for friends, family, celebration and reflection. Health will take priority and you will finally see a doctor over those nagging issues.

You will use Doordash for emergencies ONLY.

You will not hesitate. Staying on the path means choosing your direction and following through. If you find yourself coming to that roadblock, you will either power through it or find another way. Just because the path moving forward may be different now, it does not make it any less your path.

You will call your mom every day. Your sister when she feels like talking and needs you (because she does, in fact, need you).

You will scratch that special girl on her head and tell her she’s the best one in the world every chance you get. Reward and spoil her with treats or trips to the beach. Forgive her when she decides that Aussie next door is her mortal enemy. You’ll resist the urge for that Huskie that needs a rehome.

You will consume less than is necessary. Let’s be honest you have enough crap cluttering up the place and buying something won’t fill that void.

You will throw away and delete the things that no longer have a place in your life. You will thank them for the positive ways they helped you grow; even if that involved more pain than you care to remember. It is about moving forward on the path, not being caught up from things miles back. It will be hard and feel impossible, but you can do it and I believe in you.

You will forgive yourself for all your many failings. You will meditate and pray and focus on what it means to be an authentic version of yourself. You will find the ideal version of yourself and write it down. You will live every day as that authentic person. You will understand no one is perfect and that you are a flawed individual. You will accept others as being flawed, too.

You will reject swan songs and instead sing every day.